Easy-Grip Sex Toys: Less Hand Cramp, More Coming

You're nearly there, you're breathing hard, and the tiny vibrator has shot out of your slippery fingers and disappeared under the pillow. Now you're horny, furious and patting around the bed like someone looking for their glasses in the dark.

Surely the toy could do a bit more of the bloody work.

If your hands get tired, your grip's not what it was or tiny controls drive you up the wall, then size, weight and button placement matter just as much as how hard the thing vibrates. A toy you can hold, control and switch off without a fight will get you off far more often than one with ten exciting features you can't reach.

A wider handle means less pinching

A narrow bullet usually needs a fingertip grip, and that's the part that cramps up just when things get good. A broader body gives you something to wrap your whole hand around, so the work moves from your fingertips to your palm.

The Adam & Eve Dew Drop is a small, chunky one worth a look. It's 12.7 cm long and shaped to sit in the hand, with an angled tip so you're not bending your wrist to get to your clit, your balls or wherever you're headed tonight.

That doesn't make the biggest wand the winner. A heavy toy can wear you out, and a long handle can feel badly balanced by the ten-minute mark. Picture holding it in your usual position, with your arm resting beside you or propped on a pillow. Our wand guide explains the shapes and how they feel, and the wand collection gives you plenty of handles to compare. You're choosing something for your hand, not giving out a prize for the largest vibrator in the house.

Buttons you can find with your eyes shut

Because your eyes will be shut. Or you'll be looking at someone's arse. Either way, you don't want to be hunting for a flush rubber dot with one damp finger.

Big, raised buttons save you squeezing harder just to change the setting. Separate up and down controls beat a single button that makes you scroll through every pattern, including the one that feels like a car alarm, to get back to the one that was working.

The off button matters too. You want to stop when you've finished, not lie there, wrecked and oversensitive, wondering how long you have to hold it down while the toy enthusiastically carries on.

Think about where your fingers will rest. A button right under your grip can be easy to reach or easy to bump at the crucial moment, and a control that looks neat in a photo can still be a pain in the arse in your hand.

Finger toys and remotes solve different problems

A finger toy gets rid of the pinching by making your hand part of the toy. The Fun Factory BE·ONE sits between your fingers, so your fingertips and palm do the touching, with the two motors doing the vibrating. It's got 4 speeds and one pattern, so there's not much to fiddle with. It's also very nice in a partner's hand, sliding slowly up your thigh.

A remote moves the controls away from the toy, so nothing has to be held on the spot. The Maia Paislee is a good example: a soft, curved insertable vibrator that stays where you've put it, with a wireless remote for the settings. Lie back and press a button. Or hand that remote to someone who's earned it, and let them decide when you're allowed to come.

Remotes have small buttons too, mind. If tiny buttons are the whole problem, swapping them for an equally tiny remote isn't much of a win. Apps give you a bigger screen, but unlocking your phone mid-wank has its own way of killing the mood. Pick whatever removes your particular annoyance.

Make charging and cleaning easy too

Battery covers, charging plugs and removable sleeves are all part of owning the toy. A magnetic charger is usually easier than a tiny plug, although lining it up still takes some care. A battery cover you can't open is a problem you only discover when you're already naked.

Keep everything within easy reach. If you're playing with someone else, they can hold it, position it and take orders from you, and there's nothing unsexy about lying back and saying "lower. Harder. Don't you dare stop." Being particular about what feels good is half the fun, and they'll probably thank you for it.

Stop if you get pain, numbness or fatigue. For advice on your particular hands or body, an occupational therapist or clinician can help, and they've heard stranger questions.

Buy for your hands, not the label

"Ergonomic" doesn't tell you how a toy will feel after you've held it for ten minutes. Our guide to sex toy descriptions helps separate useful details from sales fluff. The less you're wrestling with the toy, the more attention you've got left for the reason you picked it up.